tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post1702006620802860371..comments2023-05-14T03:47:41.244-07:00Comments on Jana's Jive Talkin': When PK's Ask Difficult QuestionsJana Allardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11339441184005532875noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-14884759027030236692008-01-17T23:26:00.000-08:002008-01-17T23:26:00.000-08:00Weston - I believe you are right. Two of the bigg...Weston - I believe you are right. Two of the biggest problems is misjudgment and jealousy.<BR/><BR/>Monica - it isn't just my kids, but all preacher's kids have their rough days. If they haven't yet, they will. It is just comes with the job. As Helen said, "PK's are real children who need our prayers."<BR/><BR/>Susan - It is so nice to hear from you. You and Misti really know what this life is like. We are so blessed that our children STILL love the saints, going to church and God. So many PK's backslide. And Misti is right. Even if you never breathe a word of a problem to your children, they just know. When Bryce was about 16 or 17, we had a men's conference and he came home from the men's conference and started talking to his dad. He said, "Dad, Bro. So&So has a problem with this, and Bro. NoName is struggling because..." He named four or five men and everything he said was true. In fact, a couple of the guys we didn't even know they had the problem but it came out shortly afterwards. PK's are keener than they are given credit for. I love you and your family. God help us with our young 'uns.Jana Allardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11339441184005532875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-79713785028238903452008-01-17T17:28:00.000-08:002008-01-17T17:28:00.000-08:00Hey Jana!! Boy, I'm really looking at the blogs t...Hey Jana!! Boy, I'm really looking at the blogs today! I know exactly what you mean with the PK's and counseling! As moms, our hearts bleed for our children! Our kids seem to "know" without "knowing." Misti has told me many times, "Mom, you don't have to keep everything inside, I already know that "So-and-so did such-and-so!" How many meals, vacations, and family times have been interrupted? Then those days when we see our kids hanging over the alter, crying to our savior, or dancing and rejoicing, we know that God has given us grace! When I watch Misti with her husband that God so perfectly matched her with, and I see them weeping and loving Him, doing His work without complaint and overly involved in every department (considering they are 7 months newly wed) I am so grateful for his mercy and keeping her through it all. Girl, if we can just do it again with our "new little girls!!"<BR/><BR/>I love you dearly! I am so blessed that God let us be "connected" in so many ways!<BR/><BR/>SusanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-17882368374032444302008-01-17T13:14:00.000-08:002008-01-17T13:14:00.000-08:00Sis. Allard,I am so sorry that you children have t...Sis. Allard,<BR/>I am so sorry that you children have to go through these things. My heart does hold a special place for PKs. <BR/><BR/>After reading your many previous posts, you can tell that you and Bro. Allard are some fine parents who love your children very much. With your love and prayer, they are going to come forth as gold!<BR/><BR/>As far as PK retreat is concerned, it is my understanding due to low SFC offerings/budget cuts is why it had to be canceled. <BR/><BR/>I will be sure to keep your family in prayer.Monica Hassashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08548117343866278978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-76500009808825970162008-01-17T11:14:00.000-08:002008-01-17T11:14:00.000-08:00One thing I've seen is that often times an insecur...One thing I've seen is that often times an insecure PK can be misjudged by others as a "stuck up" PK. I had to deal with this especially when I was going through my awkward adolescent insecurites. The worst thing an insecure teen can hear is that someone thinks they're stuck up. I guess this really applies to people in general an not just PK's.Weston Cantrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14725934900711059536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-24680775584309323622008-01-17T08:16:00.000-08:002008-01-17T08:16:00.000-08:00Megan - thanks for dropping by my blog. It was ni...Megan - thanks for dropping by my blog. It was nice to hear from you. Being a survivor depends how much fight you have deep inside. You can do it. On the roughest day, remind yourself that God is on your side and you can fight your way through the bad day.<BR/><BR/>Kevin - "Technically," it sounds as if you really qualify as a PK. I think all of us would readily admit we wouldn't change our lives of ministry, but we should be honest enough to admit there are days we feel whipped, lonely, and beat up. The good definitely out-weighs the bad, but the bad days are so heavy because we are so emotionally and spiritually connected. Thanks for visiting my blog. It was nice talking to you.Jana Allardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11339441184005532875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-69373248587215326402008-01-17T06:37:00.000-08:002008-01-17T06:37:00.000-08:00Technically I was not a PK, but my folks have been...Technically I was not a PK, but my folks have been involved in leadership since I can remember. My dad never got his ministers license. But he and my mom always were involved with counseling and doing everything that a pastor would do. I understand your thoughts and feelings I have been there and now with my 17 year old son my wife and I have to answer the same questions. But we must have been raised right because look where we are today! As well my son has felt his call into ministry. But every once in awhile even now he asks a question that is hard to answer. I still call my folks that are now retired in Apopka Fl. and ask them questions but with them I stay away from the hard questions. Unfortunately the years of being in ministry has taught them to listen to the heart and they still come up with answers even though I did not ask the question. I think you should write a book! LOL!! God bless you!Kevin Hopperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05379282741648198720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-18166866457301524422008-01-16T23:24:00.000-08:002008-01-16T23:24:00.000-08:00Sis. Allard!I have been reading your blogs for a w...Sis. Allard!<BR/>I have been reading your blogs for a while now and couldnt resist commenting on this one. Being a PK I appreciate your blog, just knowing that you were a PK and survived with words to help others helps me. Thanks for your blogs and esp. this one :)<BR/><BR/>Megan DworaczykMeganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05905609164279384526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-28262309006272519672008-01-16T22:23:00.000-08:002008-01-16T22:23:00.000-08:00Debbie - thanks for your vote of confidence.Carol ...Debbie - thanks for your vote of confidence.<BR/><BR/>Carol - our lives are very rewarding and there are so many precious moments I wouldn't trade my life. The thought crossed my mind about PK's after Blake asked a difficult question. He is so keenly aware of people and their feelings. I believe he is destined for the ministry and therefore he ask more questions than average.<BR/><BR/>Anonymous - thank you for commenting. Your words were heartfelt and I know exactly where you are coming from. Many of the PK's of my era and my sister's generation gave up. They accused everyone of being hypocrites and the pressure was too great. If you ever want to talk privately, feel free to contact me at my private e-mail via my website. www.janaallard.com Bless you, my friend.<BR/><BR/>Karla - thanks for the comment and suggesting Bro. Huntley's message. I want to hear it. He is such a great preacher.Jana Allardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11339441184005532875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-57277499713038466762008-01-16T21:18:00.000-08:002008-01-16T21:18:00.000-08:00Jana - I agree wholeheartedly with your words. I ...Jana - I agree wholeheartedly with your words. I thank God for being raised in the home of ministry - it was fun! But I also know the questions that arise from my own children. Thanks for your words.<BR/><BR/>At BOTT, Bro. Huntley preached an incredible message about preacher's kids. I would highly recommend anyone in the ministry to get the cd or dvd of this message. It was awesome and very thought-provoking.Karlahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01949142969758548040noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-71789868498610419422008-01-16T19:26:00.000-08:002008-01-16T19:26:00.000-08:00Wow Jana ~You definitely hit the nail on the head....Wow Jana ~<BR/><BR/>You definitely hit the nail on the head. Every PK reading this post is saying, "yep, that's right, ahaa". I wouldn't trade my PK childhood for any other, but it was rough. The perks were few and far between, but the sacrifices were daily.<BR/><BR/>I think our generation is MUCH better at separating work from family, and keeping their priorities straight (family before the church). As a PK, my dad, and most of the other pastors I knew put their work before their family. As a result, most of the PK's I grew up with grew bitter and left the church. Today's pastors seem to be doing a much better job of balancing church and home life. As a result, the children are growing up to love God, love His work, and dedicate their life to it. Only a few of the PK's I grew up with are still living for God. <BR/><BR/>Hang in there, my friend. I'm sorry for your sadness. I pray that God's love will be a soothing balm for your aching heart. You bring so much joy to everybody around you, I pray that He restores your joy.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for sharing your heart.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-68740629848288271742008-01-16T18:22:00.000-08:002008-01-16T18:22:00.000-08:00Hi Jana,I can totally relate to this post, and as ...Hi Jana,<BR/><BR/>I can totally relate to this post, and as you saw, so could my daughter. Yes there are some hard times, misunderstandings, misjudgments involved in being in the ministry, but I think it is that way with anything that is worthwhile. Sometimes we just have to stop and look at how blessed we really are and with the Lord's help, let the negative things go like water off a duck's back. Like the song says, "It's Gonna Be Worth It All."<BR/><BR/>Love and appreciate you!<BR/><BR/>CarolCarol Connellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09047457937682850399noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-74594864785463682512008-01-16T18:17:00.000-08:002008-01-16T18:17:00.000-08:00Jana, after reading the comments, I just had to ad...Jana, after reading the comments, I just had to add that any book you wrote would sell. I can only imagine the advice that everyone could glean from the book. :-) P.S. I know an editor that would gladly edit the book.Debbie Pryorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06520326580321245312noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-76568069299141333132008-01-16T17:59:00.000-08:002008-01-16T17:59:00.000-08:00Jen - I have often thought of writing a book for P...Jen - I have often thought of writing a book for PK's but figured it wouldn't sell. :) Misjudgment and jealousy are probably the two most difficult things PK's face. I think you and I understand each other really good!<BR/><BR/>Shirley - In all sincerity, our children never complain and we always reinforce that they are blessed. Really, the most difficult thing is losing someone your kids love. That is when the difficult questions come.<BR/><BR/>Von de Leigh - It seems PK's are the "forgotten" ones in ministry. I wasn't writing this post for sympathy but rather shed light on the life of PK's and what is most difficult for me as their mother. I can handle most questions, but when they are saddened over a loss of which I am also sad it can be difficult at best.Jana Allardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11339441184005532875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-1547971848780569772008-01-16T16:44:00.000-08:002008-01-16T16:44:00.000-08:00Karen and Catherine - thanks for your prayers.West...Karen and Catherine - thanks for your prayers.<BR/><BR/>Weston - Who in the world knows WHAT is going on?!?!? LOL Hopefully, someone will come through with the job.<BR/><BR/>Janell - parenting can be difficult, but the good always prevails. PK's do face things much differently than others.<BR/><BR/>Ronda - I know God placed me where I am and I am content. When the occasional difficulty arises, I sometimes think I wasn't cut out for this job. Others will say my compassionate heart is part of the reason I am in this position.<BR/><BR/>Jolene - if everyone was like you, we wouldn't have many rough patches other than worrying about someone's health. I love you, too.Jana Allardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11339441184005532875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-82927856955012675272008-01-16T15:37:00.000-08:002008-01-16T15:37:00.000-08:00My prayers are with you Sis.Allard. To children O...My prayers are with you Sis.Allard. To children OR adults, we can't always explain sickness (spiritual or physical) or why it comes to some and not to others; why some are more vulnerable or weak than others. All we know is that God won't put more on us than what we are able to bear... and that goes for the diseased of spirit, the innocent children's questions (PKs), and for the feelings of loss we encounter. (I know you already know this but sometimes it helps to hear it again). =\<BR/><BR/>PS its okay to cry too.Music Eloquencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01844044834998570479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-7800226591135867022008-01-16T15:30:00.000-08:002008-01-16T15:30:00.000-08:00Timely post. Thank you, Jana.When my children were...Timely post. Thank you, Jana.<BR/><BR/>When my children were at home, and had "ministry" complaints, I always listened carefully. If there was something I could do about the situation and it seemed right, I would do so.<BR/><BR/>But my overarching feeling...and thus my communication with them...was: you have the best life in the world. The finest people on God's green earth sleep in your bed, sit on our couch, and eat meals around our table. I reminded them of their advantages--close conversation with God's ministers, travel, conferences, nice clothes,etc.<BR/><BR/>There are trying and heart-rending moments in our lives as you have so capably told, but quite honestly, we of ministry, and our children are abundantly blessed to so live.<BR/><BR/>Love you.<BR/><BR/>shirley Buxton<BR/>www.shirley buxton.wordpress.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-76707671911354961992008-01-16T15:27:00.000-08:002008-01-16T15:27:00.000-08:00I can totally relate to what you're talking about....I can totally relate to what you're talking about. Normally I don't take time to read longer posts, but when I saw the title I had to. Being a PK, I've seen my parents try and hide frustration and dissapointment, and they've seen me try and hide mine. It's easy for people to misjudge you or be jealous of you for being the first one in line at a potluck, etc. Thanks for the post, it's nice to know that there's others that know what it's like! lol<BR/><BR/>-JenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-58241285324293041592008-01-16T11:57:00.000-08:002008-01-16T11:57:00.000-08:00Sis Allard, I was never a PK or a PW but I do unde...Sis Allard, I was never a PK or a PW but I do understand the words you have spoken. PKs are special and often misjudged but so are PWs. I love you and I'm praying for you, your children and my pastor as well.Jolene Harrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08765987934872253914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-41371127542341741982008-01-16T11:44:00.000-08:002008-01-16T11:44:00.000-08:00I concur with everything said here. I, like you am...I concur with everything said here. I, like you am a PK and a Pastor's Wife. I appreciate how you brought out that we are real people, living in a real world and we have real feelings. I also agree with Mark that most pastors I know are very good at leaving the "work" at the office and not bringing it home. I love my life and wouldn't trade it for any other.iluv2prshimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16439483283000463672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-36691980733697674742008-01-16T11:05:00.000-08:002008-01-16T11:05:00.000-08:00Awwww, I feel sorry for your kids. That must be ro...Awwww, I feel sorry for your kids. That must be rough!!! They are good, tough kids though and great parents to walk them through life. I think it would be difficult for you to give them anwers at times when you have none...I'm sure that's part of being a parent. That's kind of scary to me! PK's do have troubles that are special, and I've seen sooo many of them walk away from God. That is REALLY scary! but I think as long as their experience with God is super real and powerful, and they have parents that really put time into them, they will be great leaders for God.Janellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00856777164402230309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-39995874694970005962008-01-16T10:44:00.000-08:002008-01-16T10:44:00.000-08:00Sister Allard,Thank you for opening your heart. Go...Sister Allard,<BR/>Thank you for opening your heart. God knows and He is the Comforter.<BR/>Sometimes, we need flesh and bones to "give us a touch" and God knows that too. <BR/>A special prayer for you and your family today.<BR/>Love you.Catherine Roseberry-Meyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13423369757222759002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-80181375658817739482008-01-16T09:58:00.000-08:002008-01-16T09:58:00.000-08:00This is a really good post. Which brings me to my ...This is a really good post. Which brings me to my next point... Why on earth has PK Retreat been canceled? lol jkWeston Cantrellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14725934900711059536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-59020091725006443442008-01-16T09:41:00.000-08:002008-01-16T09:41:00.000-08:00Jana, I am so sorry, and will be praying for you a...Jana, I am so sorry, and will be praying for you and your family. Love you.Karen J. Hopperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05186451381794256334noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-75478899135022565252008-01-16T09:09:00.000-08:002008-01-16T09:09:00.000-08:00Mark - feel free to link this post. You are right...Mark - feel free to link this post. You are right. For the most part, pastor's do not bring their work home with them. I think they have learned to leave the problems in the office because they don't want to carry them to the pulpit. In so doing, they don't take them home either.Jana Allardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11339441184005532875noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3168370005753091919.post-41178319539023280082008-01-16T09:07:00.000-08:002008-01-16T09:07:00.000-08:00Linda - As the song says, "...All of the good days...Linda - As the song says, "...All of the good days, outweigh the bad days, I can't complain..." There isn't much said about PK's and I wanted to bring awareness to their feelings. Many times people get the idea that a PK's life is a bed of roses, but the pastor and his family live in a real world with real problems. We are not immune to feelings.Jana Allardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11339441184005532875noreply@blogger.com