Earlier this month, a young, 27 year old man violently stabbed his 20 year old girlfriend to death. This tragedy is heartbreaking but it personally brings me pain. You see, the young man was raised in our church as a child. His mother and father divorced when he was very young and the mother took the children and moved several hours away. Answers will never be sufficient and, in reality, it is as if there were two deaths. One family is heartbroken for having their daughter taken away from them and another family is grieving with the knowledge their son/brother will soon be facing the death penalty. Apparently, the young man could not handle another time of rejection. My heart bleeds for both families and my mind wonders if the story would be different if the parents had not divorced and rededicated their lives to God. Of course, I will never know.
On a news website where this case was discussed, there was a discussion concerning risks and also signs to watch for. Please read below some of these risks and warning signs. If you know of anyone who could be at risk, share this information with them and encourage them to seek help.
The RISKS of a woman being killed by someone close to her is significantly increased when the abuser:
Has access to a gun
Has made previous threats or assaults with a gun.
Is extremely jealous
Engages in physical violence of increasing severity and/or frequency.
Abuses drugs or alcohol.
Here are some WARNING SIGNS of domestic violence perpetrators:
(These traits might not be apparent until the person is threatened by a loss of control, such as a breakup of the relationship.)
- Refusal to cope with rejection
- Quick and frequent swings from "rage" to "love”
- Constantly questioning or interrogating