The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them, but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.- Aristotle
Composure - does it matter? Maybe this (her incredible composure) is what attracted Aristotle Onassis to Jacqueline Kennedy, a woman faced with much grief and remained a tower of strength to the public eye. Throughout the infamous trial of O.J. Simpson, my husband and I were mesmerized with Johnny Cochran's impeccable composure. Other attorneys would get mad, lose their cool, and then make mistakes, but not Johnny. He was always composed. In fact, when we (my husband and I) are faced with difficult people, we will look at each other and say, "Johnny Cochran" to remind ourselves to stay cool. Throughout my life I have witnessed hundreds, maybe even thousands, of people who lost their composure. Some were in fits of rage, others were at funerals where they fell to the floor kicking and screaming, and even some were full of laughter at inappropriate moments. I always found these situations to be embarrassing. Remaining composed does not erase hurt or anger, but rather speaks of great fortitude. I like Aristotle's assessment - "high and heroic temper."
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Jana, You sound like a Presbyterian not a Pentecostal. LOL
ReplyDeleteHelen - you gave me my first laugh for the day! LOL Maybe I should have prefaced with, "Composed until you see me worship." LOL
ReplyDeleteGreat quote and thoughts.
ReplyDeleteMy head nodded (almost bobbing up and down) while reading your post. What a wonderful thought.
ReplyDeleteMark & Karen - thanks for your comments.
ReplyDeleteGreat thought, Jana. Yes, I believe composure matters and I especially like your comment: composed until you see me worship!
ReplyDeleteDebbie - well.....there are some moments in life we do lose our composure. LOL
ReplyDeleteJana, Composure does count! I have seen people lose their composure and make an embarrassing scene.
ReplyDeleteI have taught for years that of all people we as Christians should be able to keep our composure as the God of peace rules in our lives.
Kevin - thanks for your comment. I think we would both agree that anger flare ups are the most common and most embarrassing. There have been a few times in my life where someone came to me yelling about something and I just looked at them until they finally stopped then gave a very subdued response. The orneriness in me almost enjoyed how much it flustered the angry person. LOL
ReplyDeleteOne more thing: I'd be careful about the funeral statement. Some places, in some black churches, for example, the funeral is the appropriate place for emotional outlet, so that falling before the coffin is not a loss of composure, as much as an expectation.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, in one black church (not Pentecostal) that I have visited, when a woman began shrieking and jerking, the pastor kept the music going so long that he had no time for a sermon. "Ain't nothing wrong with praising Jesus," he explained.
Church behavior is culturally mandated, but outbursts of negative emotion are not. Your point is not lost on me, however.
Helen - it does seem some black funerals are very emotional, and I have been to such funerals where they had "church" instead of a memorial. Having been in these situations, I realize there is a difference between "praising Jesus" and "losing it." I was at one funeral of a man who had been terminally ill for a long time and was in his late 90's. A person started grabbing at the casket at the cemetery, was screaming "No" at the top of their lungs, and nearly fell into the grave. I find that behavior to be embarrassing when the person claims to be a Christian. I know Christians need to mourn and I cried alot of tears at my dad's funeral, but I also believe God gave me strength and the "peace that passes understanding" so I could get through that rough time.
ReplyDeleteJana, I am a bit late on this one, but I am reminded of a beautiful lady in my church whose sister passed away a few weeks ago, and when I was giving her my condolences I said, "You are so strong!" She looked at me and said, "Aren't we suppose to be?" She was grieving, but knew her strength comes from the Lord. I have watched her through the years, and I have admired her for "standing strong" when things aren't good. Great post!
ReplyDeleteLinda - thanks for dropping by. Your comment sounds just like something my favorite Sunday School teacher (the one who was teacher of the year) would say. She, too, has been in our church for many years and, through much adversity that nobody ever knew of, she has been a pillar of strength. Thank God we have such wonderful pillars in our churches who encourage us to be strong.
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