Friday, September 26, 2008

ARE YOU DEMOCRAT, REPUBLICAN OR REDNECK?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.
DISCLAIMER: This is just a joke. Please don't take seriously.
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

Democrat's Answer: Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1 ? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.


Republican's Answer: BANG!

Redneck's Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click....(sounds of reloading)BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click. Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'
Son: 'You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?'
Wife: 'You are not taking that to the taxidermist!

9 comments:

  1. I would come closer to the republican point of view. My oldest son would be closer to the red neck. Either way the man with the knife would not attack anyone in this world again.
    Mervi

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  2. LOL Nice Sis. Allard I love it. It's the perfect new addition for my door. I'm an RA in the dorms and I keep political jokes posted on the outside of my door for people to read it's fun.

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  3. I aint a redneck (lol) but i tend to go with that answer. (I'm country... not a redneck...)

    sonia

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  4. Helen - there is a nearby community that is known for, and proud to be, rednecks. Of course, the redneck jokes abound in our area. I have heard so many, "You know you are a redneck when..." jokes that I am sick of them. But, I couldn't resist posting this one because it was so absurd. LOL

    Mervi - yep, can see you doin' it. LOL

    Yvonne - you LIVE in redneck land. ROFL

    Sonia - "You're from the country and you like it that way..." Huh?!

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  5. LOL Hhm, definitely not a demo...lets leave it at that.

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  6. Sis. Allard.... I am from the country.. .and yep, I like it that way... and ladies do love country boys!! lol.

    Sonia

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  7. Sonia - yeah, those country boys can be mighty nice. :)

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