Investment Tips

With all the turmoil in the market today and the collapse of Lehman Bros and acquisition of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America, this might be some good advice. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in later this year:

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W R. Grace Co.
Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers
join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.
4.) Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining
will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa .
5.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.
6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
FairwellHoneychild.
7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.
8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
KnottNOW!
And finally...
9.) Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
(Welllllll, I don't know that it would be appropriate on a public forum, but a hint would be it rhymes with "ChittyChittyBangBang)

OH, YOU KNOW YOU WANNA LAUGH!